Suicide Pigeon
Like any typical day, I was leaving home for work. I got out of our underground parking, drove off a couple of meters and noticed a few pigeons hanging out in the middle of the road. All of the pigeons flew away to the sight of my vehicle except for one who decided to totally ignore my car.
I started honking but the fucker wouldn’t even budge. I started slowly creeping the car as close as I could towards him to try and scare him off but he just stayed there. Cars were starting to pile up behind me so I had to eventually walk out of my car and shoo him away. I finally drove off but then I remembered I had locked Mark out of the house. He had gone down to walk Geo and he never takes his keys on the walks. So I drove back, and rushed to open the door for him.
I then got back into the car and noticed that the pigeons were back on the road. I drove towards them and again they all flew away except for the same fucking pigeon who remained still and decided to ignore me for the second time! At this point I just wanted to run over the stupid f*cker but since I wasn’t really into crushing pigeons I honked for a couple of minutes then had to walk out of the car like a good girl and shew him away. This stupid pigeon won’t be as lucky next time he runs into me, that’s for sure!
Print
Email
Related Entries
Gross Pigeon
Rambo and the Zaeem
Toeless Pigeon
National Geographic Live
Bunny Suicides
18 Comments, add your own...
1. Aqib | May 10th, 2006 at 10:51 am
LoL! Perhaps it didn’t have wings because a lot of people cut off birds wings.
2. Purgatory72 | May 10th, 2006 at 11:27 am
they fly, just drive
3. Nat | May 10th, 2006 at 11:29 am
No it had wings alright, perhpas it was blind and deaf though, either that or plain stupid.
Purg this one had no intention to fly.
4. Purgatory72 | May 10th, 2006 at 11:58 am
It will, just drive
5. Dudester | May 10th, 2006 at 12:02 pm
Yeah..just drive, and some “lucky” Egyptian will be having the roadkill with his mulukhiya. You did the right thing by shooing it away. But if more than one bird persists, I’d advise you to call the PAAFRT or whatever the org, that is monitoring the avian flu thing.
6. Pearls | May 10th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
The other day a pigeon hit my car’s windshield and as I drove off I found some traces of the pigeon’s wings. I felt so guilty.
7. fractal00 | May 10th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Pigeon hmmm … i smell conspiracy
8. Haseeb | May 10th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Reminds me of Seinfelf episode where george runs his car over the Pigeon and his girl friend gets upset. George says to jerry, “Pigeons have a deal with them, the poo and we look away from the statue” lol.
9. Mark | May 10th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
it wasnt a pigeon it was a squirrel :)
The Merv Griffin Show
Episode Number: 162 Season Num: 9 First Aired: Thursday November 6, 1997
“George swerves to avoid a pigeon, he hits a squirrel and he’s forced to spend time and money on its recovery.”
10. Noura | May 10th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
hahaha poor desperate pigeon
11. istiminkiliz | May 10th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Quick question …. How the hell did you know it was the same pigeon? Was it wearing a Tux?
12. im3vil | May 10th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
istiminkiliz, thts a good one :)
13. Haseeb | May 11th, 2006 at 12:45 am
Lol Mark. I still see Seinfeld everyday. Here is what happened in the start of the episode.
GEORGE: You know I uh, spilled a yohgurt smoothie in here two days ago. Can’t smell anything, can
y’a?
MIRANDA: Banana?
GEORGE: Right.
MIRANDA: George watch out for those pigeons.
GEORGE: Oh they’ll get out of the way. You really smell banana?
MIRANDA: Oh my God. Oh.
GEORGE: So uh where are we eating?
He hits the squirrel next time in the middle of the episode where he pays the Vet to get it fixed.
Guess what mark, I am coming to Kuwait in August (After 10 years) to meet my parents. Your website has been really keeping me up to date.
Keep it up. Cheers mate.
14. holla | May 11th, 2006 at 1:12 am
yeah we get those around here too, they fly away usually but one time there was this slow one that got clipped by my mirrors. pigeons aren’t very smart. they just eat, shit and fly around.
actually maybe the suicidal ones are the smart ones, they just realise that they are useless so they just want to die heh.
15. Marzouq | May 11th, 2006 at 8:32 am
Lol @ Mark! Ur like the wikipedia of seinfeld! Damn!
Nat your really nice I got a few stories of when I go to job sites far away… and I run into suicidel birds.. but Im going a lot faster! Ur very nice and have a lot patience!
16. bikeshed | May 11th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
not much into seinfeld, but it does remind me of the story of the homosexual necrophiliac duck.
http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/research/story/0,9865,1432991,00.html
17. Jewaira | May 12th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Nat is nice indeed to be so considerate.
The stroy about the duck necrophilia is just sick - but fascinating at the same time
18. lira | May 12th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
“The stroy about the duck necrophilia is just sick - but fascinating at the same time”
Do you recommend reading it? :P
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed
Commenting Rules: Any comments that are personal attacks towards other users will be deleted. You are also not allowed to post with the name Mark or Nat since that might cause confusion. Finally, no advertising is allowed, you can't advertise your products or websites here unless its beneficial to the topic thats being discussed. One more thing: We are not responsible for readers comments!